And everything's burning down in flames

Thursday, November 26, 2009

boredom strikes!/ 10:11 AM

I'm in school now....gosh soooo fucking boring waithing here for my group mates to arrive....well i do have to say i am early.....well very early in fact....had to do make up lesson for HIP HOP! hehehe

and of all days, i picked today to make up, we did crunches, push ups and tensing reps after reps of it....booo :( and we learned popping hahhaha....well alls not that bad coz steph was there to my surprise hahah

Any who....i am seriously soooo sleepy....and im hungry :(

I want the macs chicken teppanyaki burger with coke and SEAWEED SHAKER FRIES!!! OMG YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they brought it back!!! heeeeee i are sooo happeh....sorry if im not making sense coz im just randomly typing whatever that comes to mind right now...YES IM THAT BORED!!!!!!!!

now i crave macs....and a tinsy winsy bit of durian...i know WEIRD right...of all things i crave durian...and know if i do get it i would only eat like 1 small one just to satisfy my craving....come to think of it i have not eaten durian for 1 year plus i think.... :(

Oh today i have presentation which i DID NOT prepare for...heee! im just gonna ramble shit off the top of my head. Can one lah...im that good a bullshitter...HEEEEE!!!

BTW MY HAIR IS SHORT NOW!!!! PIC OF IT BELOOOOOWWW!!!

Labels: random post 101

Sunday, November 22, 2009

beauty?/ 12:18 AM

You know what?

Ever since i could remember, i was taught or more like brought up thinking that the outer layer of a person is all that matters (besides money that is...but thats not the point here). How good looking a person is or your partner is determines how happy you'll be. And ever since i could remember, that has been a set standard for me, never date a guy any less then what i expect. So to say it bluntly, i've never dated a guy just for their personality, solely for their looks. Yeah, i know that sounds horrible, it sounds down right shallow and typical. And yeah i agree with all that as well.

Society has brainwashed us into making us think in one way and only one way.

Hot, get him. Not, dump him.

Since we were young, we grow up with posters, billboards, tv commercials, media all around us showing beautiful, handsome girls and guys, an impossible, unachievable beauty. And with that, our mindset of what is beautiful and what is not, what is happiness and love is has been set by these exact medias all around us.

We see the fashion world, with all the pretty clothes, awesome accessories and amidst all this, we see the stick skinny models strutting up and down the runway. And with this, the perception of beauty in peoples eyes differs as well. Being stick skinny, something which is unnaturally skinny is now beautiful. And people trying to be "beautiful" will go to the extent of starving themselves and vomiting after every meal to achieve that stick skinny body. Is this really what beauty is? to go against nature, to hurt and torment urself to achieve what the media say is beautiful.

That is just an example of what the media and society has done to us. Brain draining us to think what they want us to think. to believe what they want us to believe. Not have our own perception or opinion. And its hard to break out of this cycle because we've grown up believing it.

I, myself testify to this. Even though i realize what is going on, even though i protest against this. Hate it, i just find my mind wandering back to what i first said. Is beauty really the route to happiness? Would i be alot happier if my partner was hot, handsome? And every time i catch myself wondering this, i hate myself as well. I'm happy with where i am, what i have. Why must i wonder of what it would be like if i had more. Beauty fades, over time you grow old and that once pretty/handsome face would be scarred with wrinkles indication and a reminder of time and how much of it has passed. Yeah we have botox, plastic surgery but how long and how much would that help?? Would we want to be hiding under a layer of plastic for the rest of our lives?

Well, the answers to those questions is something each of us would have to face one way or another.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

fever be gone!!!/ 8:40 PM

hey people, ugh i've not been going to school for the past what? 3 days....omg...

i have a really bad headache and fever. And the sad thing is i still dun feel well after 3 days!!! my heads still pounding and my temperature still high, well actually higher then before. fuck you fever!

tomorrows also my hip hop class and i'd have to miss this and make up for it some other time...prolly what? next thursday morning, since thats the only free slot i have. boooo

i hate getting sick....im sooo sooo behind class.....and at this rate i'll prolly fail this sem! OOOHHH NOOO!!

HATE HATE HATE!!!!! UGH!

Labels: hate

Monday, October 26, 2009

Run/ 8:11 PM

omg...i am soo freaking bored to death right now...and i guess nows just one of those periods in ure life where you feel everything is like shit...ugh...

Im soo lazy to go to school, im soo lazy to care bout it, im soo lazy to do anything actually....

i dun wanna do it anymore and pretend that i care! im sooo sick of all the pretenses and all the shit. I wanna go out, i dun wanna stay at home. I wanna live my life the way i want to and not how someone think i SHOULD live my life like. I wanna get far faraway from here. I wanna run and never look back. I wanna have the freedom to be me and never have to be afraid of someone taking that away from me. I wanna grow up as fast as possible, i wanna get my own place, i wanna run.

When will all this stop? never.

How long much longer can i take it? not much longer.

Will i go crazy if i pretend that this is not happening? yes.

Do i wanna leave everything behind and just runtill my legs can not carry me any futher? definitely.

What do you want? to be free.

I dunnoe how much longer i can take all this crap and not have a serious mental meltdown. I'm sooo fucking sick of it all.....I wanna run!

"We're running to the edge of the world.
Running, running away.
We're running to the edge of the world.
I don't know if the world will end today."

Labels: emotionally unstable

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

ABORTION!!!!/ 10:01 PM

Month One.

Hi Mommy!
I am only 3/4 of an inch long,
But I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it,
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
Is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two.

Mommy,
Today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
You could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I’m not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three.

You know what Mommy,
I’m a boy!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don’t like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too,
And I cry with you even though
You can’t hear me.

Month Four.

Mommy,
My hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
But I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
And stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five.

You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I’m not a baby.
I am a baby, Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what’s abortion?

Month Six.

I can hear that doctor again.
I don’t like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can’t get away from it!
Mommy! Help me!

Month Seven.

Mommy,
I am okay.
I am in Jesus’s arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn’t you want me, Mommy?

Every abortion is just…

One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

If you’re against abortion, repost.
And people who say abortion isn’t killing a life, whatever.

okay, i totally agree with almost everything except the part bout being in jesus's arms....sorry doods.....

Labels: SAY NO

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

rant post/ 10:18 AM

hey,

Oh, i was sooooo angry and pissed off the other day....kinda walked my anger off from dhoby to bugis...well you might say its not THAAAT far, but i beg to differ, everything seems far when ure in freaking heels...it was a good walk off tho...

and when i reached bugis, i got into a cab and just sat in the lil smelly and uncomfortable cab, steaming in anger, as in literally, i felt so hot, well not really,more of a like warm feeling all over (bad kinda warm feeling!) and its bad enough that i was already angry, the taxi driver took me for a ride! (not that sex kinda ride....ewww gross) he took me all the way to kallang, then paya lebar the durian street there and then went one whole freaking round just to get to my place...oh the frustration i felt....FUCKER!

So when we finally reached the stooooopid place, i threw at him the fair and slammed the cab door, well not before i put in a few words of what i thought of him...well an asshole pretty much...

and yeah that was it! (pretty much...at least)

however, i dun wanna end this post with me bein angry and pissed...well, with regards to the previous post, dinner was awesome!! had chilli crab and cakes for dessert! weeee! after, we headed to clark quay for a girls night out! weeee!