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Sunday, November 30, 2008
My epiphany/ 11:59 AM hey!! I'm finally blogging again! hahha, my apologies for being too lazy to think of something to post up in this nearly dying blog. I had an epiphany while i was lying down on my bed and thinking about life and what it's all about, about my future, about what am i going to do for the rest of my life and stuff like that. Well, then, i suddenly started thinking of why I've never had a boyfriend before or let alone allow someone (namely a guy..) to get too close to me. And then i thought about my phobia of commitment (hahah!). Of how I'm afraid to be tied down by someone, to have great expectations from and of someone, to see him walk away after all the sacrifices i had done or see all the happy moments all go to waste and to not be able to truly be myself when I'm with that someone (you know the saying of people change or aren't truly themselves when in a relationship right?) However after really giving it alot of thought, i finally realize that I'm not afraid of commitment(surprisingly). Having someone to love and someone loving you is a great feeling and if i do find that special someone, i wouldn't mind being tied down, i wouldn't have to pretend to be someone else in the relationship because he would love me for who i am. But instead, i found what was the true fear beneath the facade of being "commitment phobic". Disappointment. That is what I'm truly afraid of. I'm afraid that after committing to a guy and giving him all that i have (in terms of feelings luh, not money...I'm not THAT stupid!) that it will not work out and he'll in the end would leave me. And I'll in the end would end up with a broken heart and i for one do not know whether I'd be able to piece it back together. Turning into an unfeeling zombie (biggest fear!) I've had a preview of being disappointed and honestly, i don't care for the feeling. I believe that I'm not like the majority of teenagers or even adult out there who are just living day by day and having a relationship just because it's the IN thing. Of having a boyfriend/girlfriend (but what he/she really is, is just another accessory or for some, another trophy to be displayed in a cupboard). I'm looking for something that will last and not just a one night stand kinda thing. So this is my story. What's yours? Labels: love love love, random post 101 |
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Sunday, November 23, 2008
REDCAMP 5!!!!/ 10:26 AM Hey People!! as you might or might not know, i went for RedCamp 5!! and it was a ton of fun!! for any details, go to nadinuts blog! here are the pictures taken during redcamp!          Labels: redcamp |
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Saturday, November 22, 2008
randomness/ 6:19 PM OKAY! since i've got tagged by nad so i've decided to entertain her and go through with the game thingy. RuleZ and Reg 1) Each player of this game has to list out 10 weird/unknown fact/habits about oneself. 2) People who are tagged would have to write 10 weird/unknown fact/habits about them then in their own blog of course. 3) At the end of the game, each player will select 10 very luck contestants to play in the next round. 4) Very importantly NO TAG BACK! On with the game now. Ten Things about myself! 1) I'm not pure. (not like that you idiot) i meant that i'm not a pure blood. I'm mixed chinese, javanese and japanese! 2) I'm in love with myself! (okay maybe thats not anm unknown fact...but, oh well! haha) 3) I secretly love the smell of petrol/nail polish 4) I hate people who ruins fashion! (esp minahs and mats!) 5) I used to not bother bout people who are insignificant. WAIT! i'm still like that! 6) My imagination never fails to run wild! and btw i sometimes think that my imaginations are real...ssshhh! 7) i have a love hate relationship with singapore 8) Surprisingly enough, i've NEVER been in a relationship before coz i'm commitment phobic plus being single is OH SO FUN!!! 9) i'm very nice, deep down inside. okay i'll correct that, deep deep deep down inside 10) I club and AM wild. So do not be fooled by my "innoncent" face...booo!! now time for choosing the 10 luck contestants!! 1)Ashley 2)Akmal 3)Siddiq 4)Zul 5)Afiq 6)Chris 7)Syakir 8)Saun 9)Azri 10)Jinyi So now, you the chosen ones, goooo!!! hahah Labels: random post 101 |
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Friday, November 14, 2008
Grad nite!!/ 10:59 PM HEY PEOPLE!! Well, i just got back from jennas. And the day before was prom!! OMG, i couldnt believe that prom just passed us. I could still remember that months before we couldnt wait for prom so that we could dress up and look our best. It was an eventful night, at first we went to jennas to get ready. And then we went to grand corpton (is that how its spelt? haha i dunnoe). So when we arrived, alot of people we already there and it was shocking to see my schoolmates dress up so glamorously! I was too lazy to actually go full out for prom so i ended up just wearing my dress, heels and hoop earrings. hahah. Nad and I then went to the special room just for SMOKIN STARZ* to rehearse a lil for our performance later on in the night. So anyways, after, we registered and mingled around with our school mates and took loads of pictures. It was then time to enter the grand ballroom and be seated and officially start graduation night! So first up we had this game where girls vs boys and we had to act like a band. haha, and obviously i got picked (lucky me...yay....) so we made a fool of ourselves and had fun while doing it. haha, and obviously, the guys band was better and won some highlighters (yay them....haha) On with the dinner!! and there was the nomination of prom king and queen! and i just knew that ashley would get nominated and true enoough, she was nominated! hahah. by then, SMOKIN STARZ (ridz, rir, akmal,lisha,nad and i) went to the room again to do one last run through of our dance routine. Wafiy wasnt there coz he too got nominated as one of the promising prom king. hahah. After rehearsing, we waited outside of the ballroom for them to announce our crew name so we could make our grand entrance! haha, but while waiting, i suddenly heard the DJ announcing my name and i burst open the ballroom doors and went to collect the prize i won in this lucky draw thingy. hahha, and well, exited again. THE MOMENT finally came and we burst in in pairs and walked the red carpet and proceeded to the stage AND DANCE LIKE WE NEVER DANCED BEFORE!!hahaha... bla bla bla, and it was the end!! and the dance floor was open for people to dance and well naturally, i was one of the first people on the dance floor dancing. hahahaha, so that was kinda the end of the prom thingy. and after prom we all went to *ahem* and then talk till about 2 am in the morning. cab back to jennas and talk there too till about 5 am...damn...wth right...hahah and that was the eventful night! and now, i'm going to malaysia tomorrow and i havent packed my bags! soo i'll say goodbye now!! adios!! Labels: graduation, school |
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Tuesday, November 11, 2008
End of O Levels....pretty sad actually/ 10:22 PM Hey people!!! Today, 11th of november marks the end of O level examination for me and also the end of my secondary school life (ceyy soo confident going to pass). Anyhow, this post is basically about all the memories i've had in TK. Eventhoug i've bitched, curse(doops!) and complained about what goes on in TK, how TK organizes stuff and how the students are *ahem* (haha, sorry, confidential uh) I will still miss TK. TK is a place where we could just be accepted and sheltered from the outside world of how tough and cruel it may be. TK is a school where obviously there's cliques, school/cca politics, but yet, we are all comfortable in TK (maybe except for some ah..), We know that we have friends and are always accepted, we know that the teachers are always there for us and we know that if we fall, someone will always be there to catch us. And it is in TK that i made my BESTEST of friends, whom have always been there when i needed them and for whom i've always cared for. So i thank TK to have brought us together and allowing us to share a special friendship that i hope will last throughout time. :P SO, i admit that i have a hate love relationship, but looking back to the times i spent in TK (eventhough its not alot coz i skipped alot of sch days...ooops!) i definitely will miss TK ALOT!!! hah, thats that is it! sooooo.... O levels is over so, what are you waitin for?! LETS PARTY!!! WOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOO!!! |
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Wednesday, November 5, 2008
woohooo!!/ 4:42 PM hey people!! i just finished malay paper today and i'm left with 1 more paper and that is sci(psy/chem) mcq. AND THEN I'm FREE!!!!!! WOOOOHOOOOOO!!! oh and thank the lords that obama won the election!!! yeah for america!! at least they did sth right here!!! extra happy day!! Labels: exams |
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Saturday, November 1, 2008
finally a post/ 11:06 AM HEY!!!! finally found some time to post some shit. well, asyou might or might not know,i'm having my 'o' levels examination and i'm pretty much 3/4 through the exam. I'm only left with social studies(yuck!..it can be interesting but well,...), malay(yuckier!haha) and my last paper Sci MCQ!!! 2 days after my last paper is our graduation night! and i cant wait for that!! speaking of grad night, a group of friends (nad, firza, diq, sharir, akmal, timothy) and i went shopping in preparation for grad night. Shopping with/for guys is so so so easy! and i HATE them! hahaha, well, of course with my sense of style (brag brag brag) i was the fashion consultant of the day! hahaha...well, skip some parts here and there, we then ate at kfc and well went home at about 10 plus. mind you we started shopping at 4 okay! so it was more or less 5 hours of shopping. OMG! i never thought i's say it but yes, i'm sick of shopping!(for that day only...dun be crazy!) went home and watched vacancy and then slept...hmmm, well i'm up now and i should start studying social studies...noooooooo!!well, this IS my last time studying ss...so why not just give it your all right!? perservere guys!! only a few papers left!!! we can do it!! see all of you at grad night wearing your best! Labels: exams, graduation |
