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Wednesday, February 11, 2009
urgh/ 12:05 AM NEW HAIRCUT!!! Yeap YEAP, i got a haircut! And i actually like it! usually i despise my new haircut coz it will take some tme to get used to the ugliness but well, i like my new look from the start, well not when the person blow dried my hair (SHE DID IT WRONG!) but when i came home and blow dry my hair straight! But this post it not really about my new haircut, thats just a lil FYI section for you people... the MAIN reason i'm bloggin right now is coz i've not been myself lately, i don't know why, I feel very angry and can't be bothered most of the time, well i'm usually like that what with this permanent frown engraved onto my face, but its a lil different now, i feel that way towards those i love as well, my best buddies, my family... I don't know, right now i just have zero tolerance and i get irritated/annoyed very easily. it sucks. To kinda feel hate ( i cant find a much mellower word...sry) towards/for the ones you love. I feel like i'm being controlled when no one is controlling me. I feel like i'm being surpressed by everything. Maybe its coz i've not been going out alot. Maybe its coz all my pent up emotions. Maybe its coz of THE FREAKING GOD DAMNED WORLD!!! I don't know what to make of it. I just feel like shit right now. I do not know how to describe what i'm feeling. Now i constantly feel the heaviness in my chest and its hard to breathe. Even when i try to relax and lie down i still feel a lil uneasy and that heavy feeling will come crawling back into my chest. I just don't know what to think or feel anymore, its like the harder i try to forget about it or suppress my emotions, the harder it hits me. Let me put it simply, when you fill a bottle with something up till the brim, and you keep filling it in, trapping it in sooner or later the bottle is gonna crack. DAT is how i feel right now. I just cant fucking deal with this right now. And after all this, what makes me more depressed... I sound EMO, FUCK. PS : I. AM. NOT. FUCKING. PMS-ING. Labels: random post 101, rant post |
